


The Angel who was too righteous

by SupernaturalFallenAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels are Dicks, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Emotionally Hurt Sam, Gen, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt!Sam, Other Angels - Freeform, Psychological Torture, Sam Whump, Sam Winchester and Mental Health Issues, Team Free Will, Tortured Sam Winchester, cas and sam friendship, kind of Case!fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 09:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11438484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalFallenAngel/pseuds/SupernaturalFallenAngel
Summary: Castiel comes to Sam and Dean with a case about and angel who is killing randomly though there is more to it then any of them know. Lots of Sam & Cas friendship, brotherly Dean and hurt!Sam.





	1. Chapter 1

It took him 10 minutes longer than usual to clean his weapons. He knew because he timed it, it was a good way to keep track of his hunting ability. Under 40 minutes meant he was on top of his game, 50 minutes was his usual and an hour meant he was slow. It had taken him an hour and 6 minutes today. So he cleaned Dean's as well, but he was slower, an hour and 8 minutes. He frowned in concern and went to wash his hands of the grease coated gunk stuck between his fingers, Dean had gone to get food and he was online looking for cases, not that he was having much luck. He nearly drew his gun in surprise when the door swung open with a cheerful looking Dean standing in the door way, 2 bags in hand.

"Woah, dude, expecting something else?"

Dean continued inwards and dropped the bag on the counter and pulled out a burger that looked almost as greasy as Sam's hands seconds ago.

"Nah just thought you'd be out a bit longer. What is that anyway?"

Sam pulled up a seat by the counter and began to look through the second bag that was presumably for him.

"Isn't she beautiful? the 'Grand Meat Queen' they called her." Dean then proceeded to take an impossibly big bite and closed his eyes in enjoyment.

"Don't you think you're being a little over-dramatic?" Dean tried to answer but his mouth was so full it came out at indecipherable noises.

"Keep your mouth closed! I do not want to see that." Sam pulled out his own burger and had to admit Dean wasn't actually exaggerating that much, it did taste pretty good especially since he hadn't eaten for awhile.

Dean swallowed and looked to where most their now clean weapons lay on the motel beds.

"Wow, you've been busy. Do you ever just relax?" Sam shrugged and finished his own mouthful.

"I couldn't find much online and I was bored. Seemed like a productive use of time"

"You know most people do things they enjoy if they have spare time."

"Oh shut up, just because I don't sit and watch Porn like you do."

"I do not!"

"Correction, Japanese erotica" before Dean could reply however there was a knock at the door. Both men became serious instantly and moved towards the door, Dean stood to the side ready to intervene if he needed and Sam opened the door hesitantly to reveal a certain beige trench coated angel.

"Cas?"

he opened the door to let Cas in fully.

Dean spoke next "Great to see you buddy but a little warning next time, a call or text?"

Castiel actually looked a little sheepish at that.

"My uh, phone is broken." To prove it he pulled out a phone with a shattered screen rendering it useless.

" For such a smart contraption they do break remarkably easily don't they?"

Sam, still a little shocked at the entrance spoke ."How'd you find us anyway if your phones broken?"

Cas smiled a little like it was an extremely simple question

"Well I already knew what town you were in so I just found the only motel with an Impala in the parking area and asked the manager if two tall men had booked a room."

Dean laughed a little "Wow, sounds extremely simple when you put it like that we really should cover our tracks a little better." Sam picked up Cas's broken phone a little curious. "We should also probably get you a new phone. How'd you break it anyway?"

That sheepish look from before returned and Cas seemed a tad embarrassed.

"Well I was just walking with it, and I, uh, accidentally dropped it onto the pavement."

"Geese, you've fought demons and angels but walking is the point you break your phone?" Dean joked.

"Alright enough, Cas did you stop by for a reason?"

"Actually yes. I have a case."

"A case?"

" Well its to do with angels and given my track record I though it might be nice to have some back up."

"Ughhh more angels, seriously what do they want now?" Dean sighed back at Cas

"Well its only one, Afriel. He used to be under Uriels command and shares some of Uriel's views on humans, I hadn't seen him for a millennia but recently there's been killings in Boulder that I'm sure are him."

"What makes you think its him?"

"This wouldn't be the first times he's murdered humans out of hate and he has a very….. particular style of killing. "

"And that would be..?" chimed Dean

"He turns them into salt."

Both Sam and Dean stared blankly "Wow, okay"

"Like in the bible?" queried Sam

"Exactly, he believes most humans to be unworthy and strives to rid humanity of their sins. Unfortunately that means he basically kills anyone who makes even a small mistake"

"Alright when do we leave?" Sam asked a little excited to be on a hunt again.

"Someone's eager. Lets get some sleep and leave in the morning."

Sam deflated a little but not enough for anyone to notice. Truth was he wasn't exactly sleeping well at the moment. He could normally hide it pretty well in front of Dean, he'd just wait for Dean to fall asleep who was often out like a rock , then he'd read or go online but with Cas here it'd be much harder to hide.

"Yeah. Sure. Cas are you staying?"

"Yes, if you don't mind of course." Sam may have been a little worried about Cas staying but the last thing he'd want to do was offend his friend. He had already struggled so much to find a home and Sam certainly didn't want to give him the impression that he was unwelcome.

"Of course we don't mind. Just thought you might get a bit bored." Sam shrugged.

"Cas is a big boy, he'll find something to entertain himself. Right Cas?" and Dean clapped Cas over the shoulder.

"Of course."

and so Sam and Dean began prepping themselves for bed like brushing their teeth and packing away their stuff for tomorrow until Dean eventually flopped onto the faded flower bed and went to sleep. Sam grabbed a book and started reading and Cas, who had previously asked if he could borrow Sam's laptop, was now sitting at the countertop with the soft blue light being emitted from the computer reflecting on his face. They sat like this for awhile until Sam was sure Castiel was focused on whatever he was looking at, he then proceeded to take the sleeping pills he had concealed under the blanket. The container said to take 2 but he really didn't want to make any disturbances lest Cas notice so he took 4.

That night he barley slept, he was tormented by memories of his time on demon blood. Faces of those he loved killed by his own hands, until he had no-one left around him, until it was him alone with his bloodstained hands.

He visibly flinched when he opened his eyes and someone was standing above him, his hand was half wrapped around the gun tucked under the pillow before he recognised who it was.

"Cas?"

"Sam, are you Okay?"

Sam took a second before answering to regain his composure,

"Thanks for caring Cas but I'm fine. Really, Dean and I, well sometimes the stuff we've been through doesn't always stay in the past."

he shifted a little bit uncomfortably but said nothing else.

"I know this might seem, intrusive but would you like me to help you sleep?"

Cas held up two fingers in offering. Sam had to admit it looked comforting, a completely nightmare free sleep and he was too tired to really fight it.

"Thanks Cas, that would be great."

after that he only remembers a light touch and a feeling of warmth before black.

The next morning neither Cas nor Sam spoke about the previous night, though Sam did shoot Cas an extra happy smile trying to convey a thank you and Cas nodded his head graciously. They spent very little time packing up and where in the car on the way to Boulder within an hour, Dean was still grumbling about having to skip breakfast but seemed to be making up for it by playing Led Zepplin extra loud. By the time they hit the interstate Dean was singing loudly, Cas was sitting in the backseat looking out the window and Sam was watching the road in front of them considering Dean seemed a little distracted. Though none of them said it, they were happy just being together in the Impala. It was comforting and they all felt good going on a hunt together, it was home-y.

"So this Afriel guy? did you know him in heaven?"

Cas's gaze broke away from the window to answer Dean "Not directly no, though he was probably aware of me. He served under me a couple times."

"Nice guy?" Sam asked.

"Well if you mean 'nice angel' not particularly. He would, as you put it, be called a righteous Dick"

Both Sam and Dean didn't bother to suppress laughing, it was quite odd hearing Cas call someone a dick.

"Nice description, I'm guessing we can kill him with a normal angel blade?"

"Yes"

"Okay then quiz me this, Cas 'Mr I can handle it on my own' decides to track us down to hunt down a run of the mill angel? Don't get me wrong I'm happy to help but are you sure there's nothing else?"

"Well he may have the powers of a normal angel but he's known to be a bit of a fanatic, I was worried he might have brought more angels to his side and thought for once that maybe I should request backup considering how well my last hunting attempts have gone."

"Smart, sounds like this guy might be a little tricker than expected."

not much was said after that besides small pitstops for toilet breaks and food, until they arrived in Boulder. Sam then picked up the local news paper from some sleepy gas station.

"Alright so we already know what did it and how to kill it, all we have to do is track him down. Any ideas?"

"Tough since non of the victims have anything in common besides making small mistakes right before their death"

"He doesn't need to sleep or eat so we can't find where he's staying."

"He has to be finding his victims somewhere." Dean seen offering some sort of lead.

Then it clicked for Sam, "You said he was like, super righteous right Cas?"

"Yes?" Cas said still not seeing the connection.

"Where would someone with a 'holier-than-thou' complex go to?"

"The church" Dean replied following Sam's train of thought.

After asking locals they found there were 3 churches but the main one was in the centre, it was also the most traditional making it the most likely place for Afriel to choose victims. Now they only had one more problem,

"Cas if you were put in a room with another angel could you recognise them?" Sam mentioned

"Yes I should be able to, especially if I'm actively looking for them. I can sense their grace but it'll be harder to do in a crowded area"

"But he'll be able to recognise you to?"

"Yes I believe so."

"Alright so I say we go to the church, wait till we find Afriel, then follow him when he tries to make a run for it." Dean announced

"Not our most complicated plan but yeah okay. Cas?"

"We'll have to make sure we see him before he see's us for it to work but yes I think it should work"

and thats how they now sat in the pews of a rather large church waiting not so patiently, they also carried with them concealed angel blades.

Cas was watching everyone who entered carefully, his gaze focused into a laser making him look even more concentrated than usual.

after about 2 hours Cas's demeanour changed and he whispered quietly "That's him, the man who just entered"

Sam and Dean shifted and spotted him, he was medium sized with short brown hair and grey eyes. His face was skinny and lean and he looks very young in his early 20's.

The was a very small metal clinking noise and Sam, Dean and Cas stood up and and their angel blades moved slightly. The man who had now been identified as Afriel was about to sit down when his gaze moved across the room and stopped at them. He got up swiftly and moved towards the door, Sam, Dean and Cas were close behind him.

After they had left the church they drew their angel blades now that no one was around to see and started sprinting, Afriel was fast and had a small headstart on them. They rounded a corner and the road split in 2, Afriel could have gone down either one.

"I'll go left, you two go right. It rounds back to the same place anyway." yelled Sam and once again they were running.

Cas and Dean followed their street but no-one else was there and there was no sign Afriel had ever gone down there. Even their own tracks could be seen against dusty gravels.

"I'll double back and see if he's managed to pass us, you go find Sam!" Dean span in a plume of dust and Cas followed his own suburban road that twisted to the left.

When he reached then end of it he stopped hard in his tracks.

4 angles stood there including Afriel who had an angel blade held against the soft skin of Sam's neck. It had been an ambush and they were ready for them. Cas's own fear jumped as he saw the danger Sam was in.

"Castiel, the 'rouge'. I did think it would be a little harder to beat you, I knew you and the Winchester where in town and all I had too do was get you to split up." one of the angles to the right of Afriel was wearing the gas stations uniform and Cas recognised him as the man Sam had bought the newspaper from.

"Afriel, do not do this. We once fought together, there is no reason we must fight."

"Oh Castiel, you might be right. I did fight with you when you actually stood for something, when we used to be real angels. Gods Wrath incarnate. We would descend upon the sinners of this earth and purge them. Now? you stand with these pitiful humans, if you can even call this one a human."

he grabbed Sams hair and tugged viscously causing the blade to graze Sam's neck causing a small red drop to trail down. Castiel growled and moved forwards and Sam gave him a look telling him it was okay.

"Careful Castiel, my blade might slip but that wouldn't be good for either of us."

"What do you want."

"I only seek friendship, for you to join as one of us again. You are strong and there are some who still look up to you, still refuse to see you as this pitiful angel."

"And how do you propose you I join you?"

"Well we can't have you be only half committed. You have to prove your loyalty to us, your brothers."

He moved closer, Sam with him who although couldn't say much else risking cutting himself was staring angrily at Afriel.

"I ask of you only a small task, then you may rejoin your family, become what you were always meant to be Castiel. A true angel."

"Kill him."

and he pushed Sam forwards.

"No." Cas answered roughly, he would not kill Sam ever. He would rather take his own life.

Afriel continued getting more passionate with each word "This abomination of a human stops you from joining us? his very blood is tainted and yet you still defend him? what of the many he has killed of our own kind, his fornication with the demon girl alone justifies his death! He has killed and killed and is a stain upon this very world!"

The angels around him nodded with agreement, Sam looked down slightly ashamed

"He is more noble than you will ever be Afriel, and he is my friend. I will not kill him"

At that moment Dean came round the corner behind Cas angel blade readied but the angel closest lifted a hand and sent Dean flying backwards. Afriel turned his attention back to Cas.

"I still have hope for you Castiel. My offer still stands"

there was a bright flash of light that even Cas had to cover his eyes from, then there was only dust where 5 people stood seconds ago. It was just him and Dean, who was now slowly getting up, left. They had taken Sam.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! please comment even if it is to tell me you hate it, something is always better than nothing hahaha. As for what era in the show this is, I'd say anytime after the fall where Cas is an angel, Dean doesn't have the mark of Cain and ya know they're all alive ;). If you want an exact time I'd say vague early season 11.

"What the HELL do you mean they took him!?" Dean looked around like he was just expecting Sam to be hiding in a bush somewhere.

"I thought angels couldn't fly now! Ya know after they all fell out of the freakin' sky" Normally Dean would be a bit more delicate when mentioning the fall around Cas but right now he was fuming

"I don't think they got away by flying, there was a flash of bright white light and they all disseapered at once. I've never seen something like that but it was definitely heaven-powered."

"Great, so psycho angels who have it out for Sam, want you to go back and join them are also powered up?"

"I believe that sums it up pretty well." Castiel was similarly mad although he didn't express it the same way Dean did. He always hated to fight angels but now that they had taken Sam he wasn't about to show them any mercy. The only positive thing was he was pretty sure they weren't going to kill Sam,

"Where are we even supposed to start?" Deans anger was fading into worry as he realised that they had no clue where to look.

"Well, they couldn't of taken him to heaven so they'd need a place to stay. Unfortunately that could be anywhere"

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam felt like someone had turned his stomach inside out, he fought his nauseousness and tried to focus on where he was. It was a dim grey warehouse that was obviously used for something industrial judging by the lack of windows and crates stacked everywhere. His kidnappers dragged him over to a wall forced him to his knees and chained him to a pole without saying a word. He was almost expecting them to just leave and all but one did, Afriel turned around and bent down so he was eye level with Sam. Sam met his eyes with an unyielding gaze and refused to break eye contact.

"Sam Winchester, so much unreasonable anger." he still held his angel blade and twirled it dangerously close to Sam's face.

"Unreasonable? You kidnapped me and chained me to a wall."

"Well to be fair, you were trying to kill me. For that alone you should've ended up dead. The only reason you're still breathing air is so that someone else can kill you."

"Who? Cas? I don't know if you've noticed or not but he's on our side. What the hell do you get out of him killing me anyway?"

"Sam I don't think you'll ever understand what I'm trying to do here but I'll try and explain it to you anyway. Before all of this happened Angels were glorious. We were all that we were meant to be, beings of righteousness that slew hoards of demons in one swipe, warriors of God." He spoke with clear nostalgia in his voice.

"I am trying to restore us to our former glory, I've already persuaded other Angels and helped to power up the host of heaven. With no Archangels left we have become a weak race. Castiel was once one of the fiercest warriors in all of heaven, even after he fell he was restored to a Seraphim. If he joined us he would convince others to join and could been of our fiercest warriors again. We would require his loyalty of course and we all know how loyal he is to you Winchesters, his friendship with Dean is tolerable after all he is the righteous man I believe he too could perhaps oneday be rescued. However, you are barely human. I can still feel the taint rolling off you, yes, it's fitting. For Castiel to assume his proper position he must remove an abomination"

Sam snorted and Afriel glared "Okay I'll admit you talk a good game, but what makes you think Cas will ever agree with you? He understands humanity better than you ever will and I doubt he'd ever stand by your side"

The angel blade brushed Sam's neck.

"It will take some... effort"

"How, exactly are you gonna convince him?"

That prideful smile returned

"Well it's not just going to be me convincing him to kill you, by the end of this you'll see how much you deserve to die, how demonic your soul is."

he plunged the angel the blade into Sam's leg and Sam let out a pained yell.

"I wouldn't bother praying either."

his vision was a little spotty from the pain but for a second he swore the blood pooling out from his thigh was black.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Two laptops sat open on a table along with a police radio and a newspaper. Two men sat pouring over them looking for any type of activity

"Theres no way we can find him like this, I don't even know what to look for! There's some break-ins a few attacks and one homicide two states over but how are we supposed to know if its them?" Dean dropped his newspaper in resignation.

Cas was just as frustrated "I don't have all the answers Dean! I have no idea how to find them either."

Dean thought for a moment before answering "Well maybe we go to someone who does?"

Castiel had to admit that whatever Dean was suggesting seemed appealing after hours of finding nothing.

"And that would be?"

"Rowena. Maybe she could do a tracking spell or sense their 'energy' or something"

Cas sighed unhappily, he still remembered the attack dog spell she cast on him and had never liked her from their first meeting where she had called him a fish. He was willing however to put his discontent with partnering with her aside if it meant they could find Sam.

"Fine."

A few hours later and more searching for anything there was a knock at the door that signalled Rowena's arrival. Dean opened the door to let her in begrudgingly.

"Hello Dean, you boys are wracking up quite the I owe you list. I'm only helping if you promise me one thing."

"I'm gonna regret this but, what?"

"You never try to kill me, follow me, take me hostage ect. are we clear?"

"What stops us from forcing you to help us now?" growled Cas who now had his angel blade

Rowena just rolled her eyes "Always nice to see you too feathers, rather than start a fight that you two won't survive I say you just agree to leave me alone and we can all get back to our normal lives, you hunting the things that go bump in the night and me enjoying a glass of champagne in a theatre."

"Deal." said Dean before Cas could interject.

"So what trouble has the giant got himself into now?"

"We just need you to find him. Can you track him"

Rowena scoffed "I wouldn't exactly be a witch if I couldn't."

She sat down comfortably and pulled out a colourful orb

"What have you boys gotten yourself into now?" she muttered as her fingers moved over the orb and her eyes shut. Both Dean and Cas eyed her warily.

"There was a massive pulse in energy nearby. I think I can track it."

Both waited for her to elaborate more

"Well where does it go?"

"I'm not a miracle worker! give me a minute."

Dean raised his hands and stepped back

"Alright Alright."

another tense 2 minutes later Rowena opened her eyes and put her orb back in her bag. She also grabbed a pen and wrote on the motel notepad an address.

"I can't quite zone in on it but I'm guessing he's somewhere around here." she handed the paper to Dean and made her way towards the door stopping to add one more thing.

"If either of you two bother me again after this, I'll turn you into fish." She said with a pointed look towards Cas.

SPNSPSNSPNSPNSPSNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Sam spat blood on the floor and didn't have time to recover before the next blow came he was okay with the relentless beating as long as they didn't invade his head again. The images they flooded him with made him wish they just knocked him out instead, the worst were the memories they replayed in crystal clear detail. Him drinking demon blood again and again his mouth forever stained crimson. This wasn't the first time he'd been mentally tortured but that just gave them more to utilise. Suddenly he felt liquid being poured on his arm and he tried to shake off as much as he could before he heard the telltale sound of a lighter being clicked and the eruption of pain that flared up afterwards.

"Do you deserve it?" he heard someone say distantly

he tried to answer with as much resolution as he could but it still came out much weaker than he wanted

"No." a small part of him that he tried to ignore whispered liar


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning, this chapter includes torture and its a little graphic, not that bad though. Pleasssse review, those 30 seconds it takes to write a comment make my day and I love to hear your thoughts. :)

Sam was getting tired; bone weary tired, not just physically either but mentally as well. He knew however that he was strong enough to at least pull some information out of Afriel. He tried to clear his head and sit up straighter, this was a small gap between torture sessions that he planned to use effectively.

"Quite the light show back before, so what? you figured out how to get your wings back yet?"

Afriel turned to him and smirked, obviously he had approached this well.

"Not yet, but we will."

"Yeah? and how are you gonna pull that off?" his restraints bit into him as he leaned forwards slightly.

"Heaven it seems never made proper use of a certain untapped power we hold."

Sam caught on fast "Souls? trust me that never ends well. Plus I always thought heaven used souls to power themselves anyway"

His captor was definitely pleased with himself on this subject from the way he was now walking around casually, angel blade, still speckled with Sam's blood, in hand.

"Oh we did, still do. However we used it very slowly, gaining power off peoples happiness in heaven. But why take the long way around when you can go directly to the source itself? using peoples souls instead."

So that was why Afriel and his band of supporters where so much stronger, so much more like angels when he first met them, including the same deluded sense of justice. Afriel now stalked towards him having had enough of small talk.

"Not that any of this will mean anything to you. 'The evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out' Revelation 13:5"

he reached out his fingers, much the same way Cas had to put him to sleep, Sam tried to resist as much as his chains would let him knowing what was to come, the painful touch of the angel was on his temple seconds later.

He saw versions of himself burning in Lucifers cage, remembered all those thing that he had started to believe after decades of torture, the thoughts Lucifer had planted and nurtured. Things he had slowly gotten over with support where now more evident and slowly driving him crazy. He saw visions of himself once more as the boy king who ruled not just hell but had earth at his command, and the horrible things he did to those he loved and Ruby at his side. He was a monster, to that there was no doubt.

Still he hoped, never letting slip completely. Dean and Cas would come for him, save him.

SPNSPNSPSNSPNSPSNSPN

Rowena's address was a 8 hour drive but Dean was determined to do it in 6. He sat at the steering wheel with his teeth gritted and silent, the impala no longer blaring with music or jokes. Cas sat next to him looking remorseful, his own thoughts were jumbled but guilt and sadness were his primary emotions evident in the way he now slouched. Sam had been pushed and hurt by angels, so often used for their own nefarious ends. It was so wrong that a man who had once upon a time had so much faith now lay hurt at the hands of angels. How much of a part did he have in that? he had healed some but how much had he hurt? breaking Sams wall, letting lucifer posses him, even how had he responded when he first met Sam. 'Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood.' he shuddered now wishing he could retract those words.

His thoughts hardened and he knew for a fact that he would rescue Sam.

Dean was filled with a more primal rage usually reserved for the moment someone lay a hand on his little brother, from what Cas had told him about the encounter he knew Sam wouldn't be dead, the possibility had never even occurred to him. Because Sam was a fighter, and he was coming to skin everyone who stood between him and Sammy.

SPNSPNSPSNSPNSPNSPN

He couldn't even support himself against the wall anymore, especially with this new onslaught of words echoing in his head

'Your dead to me.'

'Sam of course is an abomination.'

'Freak'

'I don't believe in you, Sam'

'You have to save Sam or kill him'

He was right Dean, you should have killed me, how much pain would you have saved the world? he was not the unholy boy king now though. Now he was worthless, used goods. His brother and his friend were all he had left. Through the mental torture his skin was still slowly being cut, physical pain he could endure but it still didn't make it hurt any less. Afriel seemed to glow sometimes in his blurry vision and he looked very closely he could almost see the outline of a halo. Before he lost consciousness he heard one of Afriel's minions talking, he only caught small snippets but he still heard it. They were getting ready for something, Cas and Dean were coming, he allowed the smallest of smiles on his face.

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

After searching the area a little Dean and Cas had now found the warehouse and were parked in the impala a small way away.

"Lets go," Dean went to leave but Cas pulled his arm down.

"Dean wait."

"I'm not really in the mood to talk." Cas saw right through his prickly demeanour as worry for Sam so he didn't take offence at comment.

"We can't make the same mistake again, they know we're coming. The last time we walked straight in it was a trap what makes you think this time will be any different?" Cas met Deans stare willing him to understand, he was not prepared to let anyone else get hurt because of him.

Dean relented, "Fine, what do you have in mind?"

Cas had thought about that in the trip here.

"We give them what they what"

SPNSPNSPSNPSNSPNSPNPSN

One of the angels brought Sam back to conciseness which meant something must be happening. His small hope burned brighter when he heard the warehouse door open. he was at the back hidden behind a large crate but he still managed to catch a glimpse of a tan trench coat and his heart lifted. He only heard one set of footsteps however, where was Dean?

Castile entered warily, instantly looking for Sam. His sadness crushed him when he saw the large figure chained and bloody slumped against the wall. He didn't give anything away though and let his gaze slide around the room making the effort to look powerful.

Afriel stepped forwards from behind a pole.

"You found us brother, maybe you are more skilled than I have given you credit for. Have you come to accept my offer?"

the next word was one of the hardest Castiel had ever said and took every ounce of his self control to be sincere.

"Yes."

Cas couldn't bring himself to look towards the dark figure crestfallen face.

Afriel looked just as shocked but he didn't let it throw him.

Sam had felt like someone had smothered his flame of hope by plunging it in the ocean. He should've known Afriel was right, what was a stained corrupt soul compared to the chance to rejoin your pure angelic brothers? he felt every slight wish his heart held onto slide out of him. He would never be a normal human being, never even a friend or brother. He hoped that Dean and Cas would still find happiness oneday, still have something. He regrets not seeing Dean one last time.

The angels closest to Sam undid the chains and dragged him, he didn't bother to fight back. At least it wasn't a terrible way to go, he would die at the hands at the hand of his friend. Castiel would make his death swift.

Afriel spoke once again commanding the audience in the room, it was no wonder he had gained followers; he sounded like he was certain with no doubt that this was correct.

"Brothers, we have already grown more powerful using methods heaven deemed unsuitable. But who are they to make these decisions? now they have no wings and barely a home, who are they to say whats right? now is the time angels take their place once again as creatures filled with divine wrath, powerful enough to have demons running at the very sound of our name! the first step is to band together and today we welcome one of the strongest among us. Someone who has lead armies and battalions into battles and won when the odds where stacked against him. We welcome Castiel! he will prove his loyalty by destroying a creature who's very blood is unholy, something not a human and not quite a demon but eviler than both."

The angels hauled Sam to stand next to Alfie while he talked. Sam looked at Cas who wouldn't make eye contact with him, he didn't blame him.

"We are beings of justice as well as wrath so we will give the creature a chance to convince us."

Afriel turned to address Sam

"What do you have to say in your defence?"

the room was silent for many seconds.

Castile's had to stop himself from saying anything, from pleading for Sam to defend himself and tell them about all the good he's done in the world, it was agonising for him to stand here when Sam really thought so little of himself that he stayed silent.

"Well I believes that speaks volumes. 'The Lord shall smite those who speak evil, and plot to bring the righteous down'"

It was then that Cas met Sams eye both filled with tears, though Cas couldn't show it. It was quiet but Castiel still heard Sams small hoarse whisper

'Just, tell Dean I said ...goodbye. And thank you Castiel, for... everything.'

If Afriel heard he didn't show it. He handed the smooth shiny angel blade to Castiel and held Sam so he couldn't escape, not that he needed to. Sam closed eyes and Castiel walked forwards, angel blade directed at Sams heart.

Right before the angel blade when into Sam's chest Cas changed its course and stabbed Afriel instead. Sam opened his eyes in complete disbelief before collapsing with nothing holding him anymore.

Then Chaos broke out, the angels all turned on Castiel full of anger and Dean emerged from behind Cas having snuck in while they were all preoccupied.

The angels might have been furious but they were no match, Castiels own anger eclipsed theres; he was wrathful for what they had done to Sam in his name and with Dean fighting beside him just as angry and torn the angels had met their match. Deans own eyes drifted to Sam and turned sadly before he was attacked and counted again.

"Cas! go get Sam I'll deal with the rest."

Cas made sure he was in Deans line of sight before he nodded and ran towards the heap on the floor.

"Sam!" He tried to pull Sam up in what was half a hug.

Sam roused to consciousness and smiled half heartedly at Cas in a bleary state. Cas went to put two fingers to his forehead but Sam resisted using what little strength he had pull away instinctively. Cas persisted and let his grace flow and heal his friend, he growled angrily when he found they had burned Sam with Holy oil; something his grace couldn't heal. He could still feel their manipulations in Sams mind so he pushed Sam into the peace of sleep. Dean was now at his side helping support Sam and together they lifted him up and brought him to the back of the impala.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it has been a long time since I've updated this, soooooorrrrrrrryyyy. I kinda didn't wanna leave it and kept procrastinating but here it is and the next one will be up shortly too, thank you if you've stuck with me this far!

'SAY IT'

another punch

'...no...'

Afriel presses the hot poker scorched in holy fire into his arm and he can't help the screams that escape him, red spots dot his vision and all he can feel is the brand on his arm.

'You are worthless, something against the very nature of this universe and Sam Winchester..."

he grabs his chin and forces it so Sam has no choice to look at him

"You mean nothing to anybody."

he lets go of his chin and Sam's head instantly falls into his chest. Afriel touched his forehead with two fingers, a gesture that used to seem so friendly when Cas did it.

Then there was another moment in the warehouse, where he saw Cas stand in front of Afriel and the moment when he said yes to killing him. That was the true moment he knew; knew that everything they said about him was true, even years and years ago when Gordon had tried to kill him or when Lucifer taunted him, but the most painful came from the ones he loved. From Dean telling him that if he didn't know him, he'd want to kill him or from Bobby telling him to lose his number. He was disgusting, succumbing to an addiction so dirty that even demons had seen him as tainted, how had he forgotten that? he stopped listening to Cas and Afriel after that, he was just waiting for it to end. Finally when Cas had held the blade, Sam just wanted to thank him for everything he'd done to help him and Dean and being their friend even in the darkest of times and of course say goodbye to the two brothers who'd looked out for him his whole life. After that he accepted his fate only looking at Cas once more, so strangely it seemed his eyes were filled with deep sorrow and not disgust.

He was still completely delirious and could only register the very basics of the world around him, his eyes seemed glued shut but he knew where ever he was it was cold. He briefly wondered if he was back in the cage, it would make sense for him to go there after he died but surely he would hear or see Lucifer then?

he shivered and felt the coldness in his bones but could do nothing to stop the chattering of his teeth.

He felt something soft and warm being draped across him and might of briefly heard Dean's voice talking in a soothing tone.

SPNSPSNSPNSPNSPSNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Both Dean and Cas couldn't help but watch Sam, Dean doing so as much as possible without crashing the impala.

'He's... he's okay right?' asked Dean tentatively.

Castiel wished he could answer, he had healed majority of the cuts on Sam but had been too weak to heal him completely. Then there was the holy fire, he seethed at the thought of it, in their twisted deranged logic he could see why they had used it. It was called 'holy fire' after all and they believed Sam was by definition; unholy. Apart from the physical wounds were the mental ones; they'd poisoned his mind, trapped him in his worse memories and forced him to see cruel illusions of their own making. There was nothing he could do now except wait for it to wear off. He had no idea if Sam was all right,

'I hope so' he mumbled quietly.

Sam started violently shivering and Dean passed Cas a blanket they'd kept underneath the passenger seat, Cas softly draped the blanket over his wounded friend and heard Deans soft reassurances to Sam.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking around :), special mention to fiction_crown and all her lovely inspiring comments! enjoy my dudes and next chapter will be much longer and heading your way verrry soon.

A warm roaring fireplace that was seldom used was currently providing warmth and comfort to all the bunkers inhabitants. Ironically it was Sam originally who had suggested they use the library's fireplace more often, they had never actually got around too it though, their lives constantly and consistently getting in the way.

Now Sam's uncontrollable shivering wouldn't stop even with the heat pouring out of the hot coals. Castiel and Dean had draped mountains of blankets on top of him and the bunker was now so hot Dean had stripped down to a T-shirt.

"Is he any warmer yet?" Dean's tone betrayed his worry, not that he needed to hide it. Cas gently placed his fingers to Sam's forehead and frowned

"His core temperature is still 4.6 degree's lower than it should be."

it was agonisingly painful for the both of them to watch Sam go through so much pain alone and be unable to help; it was scarily reminiscent of Sam's demon blood detoxes. Still they did everything in their power to make him more comfortable and if that meant making the place a sauna then that's what they were going to do.

Dean sighed heavily "God, Cas do you think we'll ever catch a break?" his hand reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I mean 4 days ago we were going on a case together, you me and Sam. For once... for once I thought for a second maybe something will go our way this time. That someone won't end up morbidly injured or tortured "

"How many times do I have to watch Sam go through so much pain, that I can't… Can't even help him with?"

Castiel met Dean's gaze with his own intense fixed stare

"I know you two have suffered more than any two humans should have too, but you've always rebounded and I'm not saying… I'm not saying it's fair, but I think you two have proven that you can handle pretty much anything this world can throw at you as long as you support each other and never lose sight of who you are."

Both stared at the fireplace for a few seconds,

"Cas, gotta admit sometimes you can be pretty wise for a dude whose millions of years old" a small wave of laughter went through the bunker for the first time in what felt like forever,

"You did leave one thing out though,"

Cas turned to him curiously.

"And what's that?"

"Yourself! you've been with us through more than thick and thin and there's no way in hell we would've made it without you and everything you just said rings true for you as well. You're our brother Cas, as cursed as that may be."

Castiel beamed genuinely until another thought crossed his mind.

"I don't know if Sam would want to forgive me enough to call me a brother…. After what he saw…"

"Cas, if I know one thing about my mop headed gigantor of a brother, it's that he'll forgive you. He knows that wasn't really you…. and if he doesn't….. If whatever crazy ass mind drugs they've got him on make him see things differently I still bet he's not directing any anger at you."

The conversation was cut short when Sam's shivering became more intense, Cas and Dean quickly turned to him and watched.

Finally he seemed to settle back down too his smaller tremors and both angel and and man let out a small sigh of relief.

'Noooo... stop... just. g... away' the muffled words had heavy connotations and Dean was by his side instantly, a hawk eyed Cas observing but keeping his distance.

'Hey Sammy can you hear me? Sammy? It's us, you're safe.' Dean's mellow tone managed to be both soothing and strengthening at the same time and had Sam heard it, it might have helped pull him from his dark sea of swirling thoughts.

'NO... I know.. what... I am. ... ' it broke Cas and Dean's hearts to hear Sam's desperate plea's and Cas would not, could not see his friend suffer so badly and not try to help more. He leaned forwards and pressed two fingers against Sam's head fully intending to use as much of his grace as he could to heal, however Sam instantly recoiled from the touch, anguish written all over his features.

'no more... Lucifer...Afriel... just... '

in that moment it clicked for Castiel, the reason Sam hated being healed. He had always been a bit nervous after his traumatic experiences with other angels including when Cas himself had broken Sam's wall (guilt flooding his thoughts at those memories), and though it made him uncomfortable Sam suffered in silence in the way he so often does. Now when he was not fully in control and in somewhat of a more primitive state he couldn't help but show his displeasure at the action and Castiel just added it to list of things the world had done wrong to Sam.

SPNSPNSPSNSPSNPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Every time Sam turned a corner he ran into more painful memories, him with Ruby, Dean's dead body on the floor torn up by hell hounds, his eyes turning black as he freed Lucifer, him as Lucifer killing Cas and Bobby and beating the life out of Dean, Bobby's dead body in hospital, Cas's dead body pierced by an angel blade. Then were his own moments of extreme weakness, after Dean dying when he'd thrown bottles at walls and killed anything he could find, his own insanity as he was locked up and given electro shock therapy and when he naïvely beloved the trials where curing him, his own words echoed in his head

'What is the upside of me being alive?'

He thought he must be in the cage now, it was the exactly the same hope-devouring cold that permeated the place. Perhaps somehow Lucifer had been let out and he had slipped in after his death. Oh how his heart mourned to see Dean and Castiel again, to joke about something stupid and sit impala listening to music 20 years old. He dismissed the thought, they wouldn't want to see him, how could they? Afriel had been right about everything, his own sins and nature made him something so disgusting to anything, let alone angels. They must be able to see the unholiness rolling off him. Everything happened again and agin in a cruel demented twisted loop and he could no longer tell fact from fiction.

SPNSPNSPSNSPSNPSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

The next couple of hours where tense for Dean and Cas. Sam continued to mumble but at least his temperature warmed up a little. They placed him back in his room, at least there he looked almost normal if you didn't look at the black circles around his eyes, the dried blood on his clothes and forehead and pained look that scrunched his features.

Cas quickly looked Dean up and down and worried about both his friends health, Dean tended not to look after himself when Sam's wellbeing was at risk. Come to think of it when had Dean last eaten? or slept? he mentally cursed himself for not noticing, sometimes he forgot to keep track of those things considering he didn't need them.

'Dean, you need food.' he tried to say it with just a little authority hoping to convince Dean, unfortunately Dean had never taken well to authority.

'Yeah and a beach house in the hamptons but that can wait until Sam's awake.' Cas fought the urge to roll his eyes, Winchesters, so stubborn.

'You can't help Sam if you're falling to pieces yourself, go get some food and take a nap. You know thats what Sam would want'

'Yeah well Sam's not exactly in any condition to tell me is he? and don't get all high and mighty on me. You're not exactly shinning either, how much have you strained your grace healing Sam, not to mention all your stewing.'

'My what?'

'I know that you're sitting here feeling guilty, you blame yourself and trust me I know, its a Winchester trait. That stunt we had to pull back there? We'll have the chance to explain everything as soon as Sam wakes up. You can tell him yourself about how it was all fake, and that none of what you did was true.'

Dean as per usual had hit the nail on the head about what Cas was thinking about, indeed he could not stand the thought of what he'd done to Sam when he'd accepted Afriel's offer.

Dean and Cas said nothing else for a little while after that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that took much longer than I expected! thank you all so much for the comments and support my dudes, enjoy the latest update and as always comments are MUCH appreciated. :)

Sam had small brief moments where he thought he might of heard soft voices between nightmares like breaks in a hurricane. If he focused hard enough sometimes they sounded like Dean or Castiel, perhaps it was a case of hearing what you wanted to hear. Had he had any sense of self awareness he would be shivering with the intense cold that felt like it was being emitted from his bones, instead he tried to focus on facts.

My name is Sam, Sam Winchester

I have a brother, Dean.

He tried to push away the thoughts that entered his mind after like Dean watching in horror as he freed Lucifer or the disappointed look he'd received too many times,

My Friend? is Castiel?

Again thoughts swam in his head that he urgently tried to forget about,

I am tainted, I have Demon blood running through my veins,

that one he was pretty sure of

I was Lucifers vessel and I started the apocalypse

but maybe I helped stop it?

We save people.

Team free will?

trying to think anymore than this just made him more confused so he stopped there, instead trying to let it flow naturally. Slowly recent memories came back to him and he remembered Afriel and what happened, the thought made him hurt more than he expected. Eventually he welcomed the black darkness that enveloped him and allowed him to escape his own mind.

Castiel turned to Dean looking more hopeful than he had for the past few days,

'I think most of it's worked through his system. Hopefully he should wake up soon, as far I can tell he's just sleeping'

Dean allowed a brief smile, at least when Sam was awake they could help, not let him wallow in this crap. His weariness was pulling on him heavily now, his shoulders drooped, he hadn't showered in a few days and he was starting to stink but most of all he needed sleep and food. All of this was crystal clear to Cas who thought maybe he now had a shot at getting Dean to pursue sleep since since Sam seemed to be getting better.

'He's not the only who needs sleep Dean, you can't help your brother if your about to fall down yourself.'

too tired to even come up with anything to say in his defence Dean nodded slowly,

'Okay but only 3 hours, and if…'

'I'll come get you I promise.'

Dean still looked reluctant to leave.

'Dean I will make you sleep if I have too.' Cas shot Dean a look that made him sure that that wasn't an empty threat. Slowly he exited the room and stumbled down the hallway. Finally collapsing on his bed, he had fallen asleep before his head had even hit the pillow.

Cas now occupied the seat next to the younger Winchester, he had decided to leave the lamp on, even if he could see perfectly in the dark he thought it best that Sam could see his surroundings when he woke up. Curiously he looked around Sam's room; there was a bookcase full of books Sam had deemed most interesting from the Men of Letters collection, a framed picture of Sam, Dean and himself sitting on top of the impala that made him smile, a few taken apart weapons and a small box poking out from under the bed.

He hoped he wasn't invading Sam's privacy to much but he couldn't help but take the box in hands. The grain of the wood was smooth and was obviously treated with care, something difficult to do living a hunters life. He lifted the box's lid and examined the contents. He was a little shocked at the amulet he recognised, he remembered many years ago when he had asked Dean to use it in the search for god knowing its significance in the brothers relationship and thought it had been thrown out along time ago, he felt a small pang of sadness at the thought of Sam retrieving it from the trash and secretly holding onto it all these years.

Next was a brochure for a retirement home and a signed baseball. Innocent reminders of a life that might have been a bit happier and maybe still might. There were more photos, of Sam and Dean younger and so much more bright-eyed, none of the weariness and toughness they have etched into their faces now. He was in a couple as well; with his usual stoic face and perhaps a hint of smile while the brothers laughed at him. Bobby was in many of them too and he even found some of them as kids running around spraying water guns at each other, completely innocent about the war they would have to face. There was also a tape with nearly illegible writing spelling out 'for Sam's 12th birthday' which looked like it had been played for years. He hadn't realised there was a tear running down his cheek until it landed on a photo of the three of them sitting on the hood of the impala, beers in hand, staring up at the stars, it had been captioned Team Free Will.

He heard small movements from Sam and instantly felt guilty about snooping. He quietly packed up and put away the box and the rest of its contents, trying to place it in exactly the same position he'd found it in. He might of been a bit paranoid however, because Sam did not stir. He sorrowfully thought about had they'd ended up here, one brother so tired and drained but with a refusal to stop fighting and the other manipulated over and over until he believed that most of it was his own fault, willing to grant forgiveness to everyone but himself. They were the two strongest humans Castiel had ever met and he truly was in awe of them. In that moment he truly wished he was still strong enough to time travel, go back to the picture of them with water guns and stop them from ever having to face any of this, screw the world for once.

Castiel decided he was going to go grab a cup of tea while he watched over Sam, he didn't need to eat or drink but sometimes he enjoyed doing the activities regardless. He once remembered Sam telling him that Tea was soothing beverage and it seemed appropriate for the current situation. Slowly he wandered into the kitchen and, after a lot of fiddling and questioning of human contraptions, had successfully made a cup of peppermint tea. At least that was one small victory.

Sam slowly became aware that he was breathing, he used that to ground himself.

1

2

3

in.

1

2

3

out.

Then he he felt the rest of his body, he quickly moved his wrist panic rising that he was bound. Instead it seemed completely free, as was his feet. Actually whatever mattress he seemed to be lying on was quite comfortable and familiar… he opened his eyes and slowly began to move his head.

It was his room in the Men of Letters bunker?

no, it couldn't be. But all the details were perfect and in crystal clear detail unlike the blurriness of his delusions.

How did he ever end up here? surely he would be too demonic to even get past the bunkers warding. And what about it's inhabitants? as much as he wished for it Dean and Castiel could never forgive him…. they…. definitely wouldn't bring him…here. He still felt alot pain from Afriel's burns and cuts so maybe this was real life.

Before he could work out anymore there was the sound of footsteps. He braced himself; for what, he wasn't sure.

Castiel appeared in the doorway and both of them were momentarily stunned.

'Sam!'

he almost smiled at seeing his friend but then shame hit him and he averted his eyes. He could only mumble a weak reply,

'Castiel'

he was not sure what was about to occur, maybe Castiel would try to smite him, not that he would try to stop him. Oddly enough the angel seemed to be holding a cup of tea.

Cas himself was completely caught by surprise, Sam looked scared and lost and he wondered how such a large man could possibly look so small. He cursed himself for ever bringing this case to the Winchesters.

'How are you feeling?' he said nervously, after all Sam must hate him. The last time he saw Castiel was when he agreed to join Afriel and kill Sam.

Sam looked confused by the question so he tried a different tactic

'Alot of your … burns I can't heal, but I can get get rid of the cut's'

he took a step forward and held two fingers up, instantly he realised his mistake as Sam flinched. Of course Sam associated that gesture with pain.

Sam tried to relax again and spoke with a hoarse voice,

'I'm sorry..'

'You have nothing to be sorry for'

Sam looked up at Cas in suprise.

'Are you.. real?'

Castiel felt sorrow at the thought of Sam thinking this was just another nightmare and tried to answer resolutely.

'Yes.'

Sam looked to be thinking for a few seconds before continuing,

'Castiel,' Cas frowned a little at the abandonment of his nickname.

'I..How can you stand to be near me right now? aren't I… shouldn't you smite me?'

Now it was Castiel's turn to be suprised,

'Sam, I am so so sorry. I am ashamed of what happened at the warehouse and I want you to know that all of it, all of it, was fake. A ruse to free you, and you have been and always will be my friend.'

he tried to smile warmly in reassurance.

'I will go get Dean.' Castiel awkwardly handed his tea to Sam in what he hoped was a gesture of friendship before turning to Deans room leaving a very confused Sam in his wake.

Castiel had barely entered the room when Dean woke with a start, hand half curled around the gun under his pillow.

'Geeze Cas, you scared the crap outta me.'

'Sam's awake.'

That was all Dean needed to be half outta bed and racing towards Sam's room, Cas tailing him.

His heart jumped at the sight awake and sitting up and he couldn't stop himself from hugging his little brother. Sam tensed and seemed a little afraid before relaxing into the hug. What exactly did Sam think he was gonna do?

'Good to see you up man, you had us pretty worried.'

again Sam averted his eyes,

'Sammy?'

'Dean I'm so sorry, for.. all of it. I know I have no right to ask you to forgive me but I just wanted you know that I will always be grateful for what you've done for me. I…' Sam stopped to wipe a stray tear and Dean took his chance to interuppt,

'Sam you have nothing to be sorry for, whatever crap Afriel did or said was pure lies. If anyone should be apologising it's me and Cas.'

Castiel nodded in confirmation

'We let you get captured in the first place then left you at that crazy angels mercy for days.'

'Dean I'm not talking about that. None of that was your fault anyway. I'm talking about what I am, what I've done to you, Castiel and almost everyone else in our lives. Afriel wasn't that crazy, he knew what an abomination I am, I don't deserve to be sitting here with you and Castiel.

'That's crap'

'Yeah you made some mistakes but so has everyone else in this room. You are so much more than what those stupid angels say, you're kind, smart, compassionate, brave, and selfless.'

Castiel continued backing Dean up, 'As well as forgiving, understanding and empathetic. My brothers have been wrong about a great many deal of things but never have they been so wrong about you.'

Sam's glassy eyes seemed to gain a semblance of their old spark back but a dark shadow still haunted them.


End file.
